When you’re entering the online casual dating scene, it is important to remember that the first message you send to a woman is your first (and quite possibly only) chance to make an impression. If the messages you’re sending aren’t getting replies, chances are high that you are missing the mark and need to brush up on your casual dating contact skills.
Grammar, Spelling and Punctuation Count
Before you even start worrying about what you’re going to say, you need to focus on the basics. Women are sticklers for things like bad grammar, misspellings, and lack of punctuation. Avoid text speak, and if your spelling is less than perfect you need to put in a little bit of effort. At the very least, use spellcheck. It might not be fair, but if your message looks like it was written by a fourth grader, the chick is going to assume that you’re stupid. Text speak, on the other hand, simply makes you look lazy. It only takes a couple of seconds to type out the words that you’re shortening, so don’t be a slacker. Writing something along the lines of, “I seen your profile pics and dam grrl, ur so hot. Wd you like to get 2gether?” will either get you no reply at all, or a scathing commentary on what an idiot you are. What it won’t get you is laid.
First Messages When You’re Married but Looking
What you say in your first message when you’re married but looking is of the utmost importance. Many guys wonder if they should bring up this little fact or keep it to themselves.( learn more) The answer depends on the type of woman you are contacting. If the woman mentioned that she is married but looking in her ad, letting you know that you’re in the same situation and will be discrete will probably be reassuring. If she’s not married, it’s probably better not to mention it at all. A lot of women assume that married but looking means that drama will follow, and still others are opposed to hooking up with married men because they think it’s wrong. Remember, this isn’t traditional dating. It’s hooking up, so you’re not under any obligation to disclose all of the details of your life.
Married or Not, You’ve Got to Grab Her Attention
Generally speaking, women on casual dating sites receive a lot more messages from men than men do from women. When you’re writing your first message, remember that the woman you’re contacting might be getting dozens of messages, so yours needs to stand out from the crowd. The good news is that most men are awful at writing these things, so it doesn’t take all that much to stand out. Keep your first message brief, but not too brief. Don’t say something generic like, “Hi. Want to talk?” Use your sense of humor, ask a question about something in her profile, and above all else, personalize it. Women love wit, many of them are more inclined to respond if you’ve asked a question because they will feel compelled to answer it, and personalizing it shows that you actually read their profile and aren’t just sending a generic message to every woman in your area. Say something along the lines of, “Are you real? I was beginning to think that beautiful women with high IQs were in the same category as unicorns on these sites! You mentioned that you are new to the area. Let me know if you need any suggestions for cool places to check out. I’d love to take you to my favorite bar for a drink to see if we click.”
Is Social Sex Legit or Am I Wasting My Time Sending Messages?
After sending a few messages that don’t get replies, many guys begin to wonder, “Is social sex legit?” The answer is yes, and you can read a full social sex review here, but there are a lot of reasons you might not be getting replies. Some of those reasons were covered already. It could be your messages. If you feel solid about your messages, it could be that, is social sex legit? is a question that you should know is actually best answered as yes, but with caveats. Scam artists, bots, and dead profiles are impossible to keep off of casual dating sites entirely. While it is totally legit, and you can learn more, but sometimes stuff slips through the cracks. If all of the women you’ve been contacting and not hearing back from look like porn stars and have very little information in their profiles, you’ve found the dark side to the world of hookup websites. Is social sex legit? It is for the most part. Stick to sending messages to the women who look real and have a decent amount of information listed about themselves, and if your messages are good, you’ll be getting replies in no time.